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Liz Phair- Ant In Alaska (Studio version)
Call me when you think the coast is clear
I’ve been hiding out almost a year
Is there something wrong?
What’s taking you so long?
And yeah, I know it’s not easy
When The Awl did a Listicle Without Commentary: Selected Liz Phair Songs, Presented in Order of Ratio of Elation to Despair a while back and picked this as the number 1 song, part of me wanted to be like “Oh come on guys, picking an obscure Girlysound track, how hipster douchebag of you” except a bigger part of me was like “YES! That is the exact right answer.” Ant in Alaska is possibly the saddest song ever. Seriously, it made me cry when I first heard it a couple years ago, and I’ve cried like 5 times in the last 8 years. The lyrics are brutal in their simplicity and honesty, and although the lyrics are obviously intensely personal, they’re general enough to be applicable to a wide range of experiences. (It’s the perfect song if you’re frustrated with a closet case you’re dating, just for a COMPLETELY non-personal example) The weary vocal and lonely sound of just the guitar as accompaniment add to the desolate and abandoned feeling of the song, and when the bitterness gets amped up for this part:
Well, I look at the stars and I know you’re under them
I look at the books and things people are reading
I know that you’ve written them too
You’ve got so many little things to do
But then I look at my life and I know you’ve forgotten
The promise you made to me
I think that’s rotten
I’m hopelessly lost and there’s hardly a sound anymore
Coming through that can show me around
As I’m endlessly, endlessly searching the crowd
Looking for something from you
Just one fucking measly clue
Any shitty little tip-off would do
But I’m just an ant in Alaska to you
Her anger, it’s palpable, and you can tell that even as she lets loose with “Just one fucking measly clue” that Liz still has so much more rage bottled up inside that she can’t even express, but she’s covered the gamut of emotions with this guy from sympathy to insecurity to sadness to anger, and the repetitions of the final line have a sense of acceptance to them, giving at least some sense of resolution to the song.
Sometimes I feel really guilty when I sexualize men on this blog (raised Irish-Catholic, holla atcha girl), but then I remember that we’re sexual beings and it’s totally normal (yo, did you know infants get boners? I didn’t until my baby brother was born and I was like “THE FUCKKKKK IS THIS SHITTTTT”. Anyway, that’s just proof. We’re innately sexual.) and also maybe it’s Jon Hamm’s fault for drinking water like this.
It’s your fault Jon Hamm. If you get raped by a pack of Caraghs, IT’LL BE YOUR FAULT. For drinking your water that way. Sashaying around in your square jawline.
also: dat asssssss.
Oh man, get out of my head.
I have been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to think of a way to discuss the hotness in this picture, but I’m pretty much incoherent with lust.
Kelis- 4th of July
Kelis looks amazing throughout this video, even when she raids Ke$ha’s closet for tacky headdresses, and I shouldn’t have to tell you that her new single is awesome since you just heard it, but I’m afraid she might be the next Donna Summer. Now, normally if I compare someone to Donna Summer, this is one of the highest compliments I would ever give out (no really, diss Donna and there’s going to have to be a rumble down at the river), but the dirty little secret of Donna’s career* is that she’s a dance music diva who CAN’T DANCE. Looking at this video, the A Capella video, and the Kelis show I saw, there was very little dancing from her beyond some basic booty-shaking, and it’s led me to conclude that Kelis is, just like Donna, sadly unable to dance.
*-aside from the whole ‘AIDS is God’s punishment to the gays” thing which she seriously never said. You can read about that whole drama with multiple eyewitness accounts and statements from Donna here
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Barbra Streisand- Life On Mars
Yes, THAT Life On Mars. You know you’re curious. How can you resist the idea of Barbra singing, ” It’s on Amerika’s tortured brow, That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow”?
Now if only it was, you know…good.
Madonna- Dress You Up
This is possibly the most under-rated pop song ever. I could listen to it 10 times in a row and not be tired of it. It’s an expression of pure joy, and everything I look for in fun sing-along music.
And yes, I realize it is 4 am and I am writing about how much I love old Madonna songs. I am indeed the biggest homo on the planet. But seriously, this song is so good. Come on, the lower “all over your body” bit is just perfection.