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Beyonce- Ring The Alarm (live at the MTV VMAs)
It’s Beyonce’s B’day (can you believe she’s only 29? That boggles my mind) so let’s look back at one of her finest tracks. “Ring The Alarm” is the one time Beyonce has expressed her fury in the public eye, and it manages to both elevate and humanize her. It elevates her because shit, would you want the rage of angry!Beyonce bearing down on you? She’s like the pop diva version of the Incredible Hulk! But it humanized her as well because it was the first time the audience got to see beneath the happy workaholic diva robot facade Beyonce puts up as her public persona. The shouted and heavily treated vocals transform her voice into a blunt weapon that elucidates the mostly unspoken threats in the lyrics, (sidebar: “You ain’t never seen a fire like the one I’mma cause” is one of my favorite bitchy lines ever), and this dramatic and intense performance matches the song’s tone perfectly while throwing in some excellent Rhythm Nation-inspired choreography.
Kelly Rowland- Commander
I’m a little bit obsessed with this song/video right now, but it’s just too good. Come on, she has a dance battle with her doppelganger! If you don’t think that’s awesome, I’m not sure we can be friends anymore. I’ve always had a weakness for both dance songs about how much you love dancing/going to the club and authoritarian females (in music…well, mostly just in music) so I think I kinda have to love this song. It helps that the chorus is fucking unstoppable. I’m not sure how I feel about the conceit of her talking to the DJ in the song, but “Make that bass attack” is an instruction everyone should follow. I shouldn’t be comparing them like this, since music isn’t a competition, but this is way better than anything on Beyonce’s last album (yes, even Single Ladies), and I’m glad it’s a hit, at least on the dance charts. When I was out clubbing in San Francisco, it filled up the dance floor, so it definitely deserves its #1 spot and I was disappointed to not hear it when I was out this weekend. If David Guetta keeps doing songs like this and his stuff for Kelis, I might eventually be able to forgive him for inflicting those awful Black Eyed Peas songs on the world.
I find it interesting that the choreography in the video is pretty meh, so the whole thing rests on Kelly Rowland’s ability to have charisma and Vogue well, so you’d think it would be a disaster, but she pulls it off and manages to look stunning in her ridiculous outfit. I also love how the dancers in red have DEVO-esque hats, it makes me think they’re going to Whip It (whip it good) at any moment.
(via amazinggifs)
The best cameo in a music video ever. Stevie is way too bootylicious for you, baby.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Christina Aguilera- I Am
Well, this album is certainly a disappointment. For all her talk about working with indie musicians to do something different and push pop music forward, Christina has delivered an album with nothing innovative and little that qualifies as great. Bionic is an album destroyed by its own excesses and hamstrung by extremely poor sequencing. 4 ballads one after the other makes each successive one have less of an impact and draws too strong a contrast between the sadness and neediness of the ballads and the over the top (some would say delusional) self-confidence displayed in the dance tracks. Putting two of the album’s more ridiculous tracks (the especially unfortunate and boring Sex For Breakfast and the goofy bombastic I Hate Boys) before and after the ballad set is jarring and so poorly done that you have to wonder if anyone bothered to listen to the tracklisting once through before releasing the album.
A few of the dance tracks are better and at least fun, but they still have issues. Desnudate, Glam, Prima Donna, and Vanity are enjoyable but all 4 would be stronger if they were edited down to 3:00. Desnudate is the stand-out dance track here, with some nice Spanish guitar and a mix of breathy moans and belting, but is killed by being way too long. Glam feels like Christina tried to write a new Vogue, but took out everything that made that track fun. Prima Donna has a synth line seemingly stolen from Ke$ha’s “Your Love Is My Drug” and some vocal inflections lifted from Beyonce. All that makes for a fun song (or would if the line “I’m a prima donna” wasn’t just repeated for half the track), but something that derivative can’t get high marks. Aguilera and her collaborators seem to have forgotten how to write a chorus that isn’t just the same 2 lines repeated for (at least) 30 seconds, ensuring that you’re tired of the tracks by the time they finish instead of wanting more. While we’re on the subject of lyrics, let’s not overlook the nearly unlistenable atrocity that is Woohoo, a just plain gross ode to how awesome Christina’s pussy tastes. And before you say that sounds amazing, it’s a much better idea on paper and even Nicki Minaj can’t save it.
Even the ballads, which Christina has always managed to hit out of the park before, are a bit uneven. You Lost Me is a fine track, but the pre-release hype about it being the best track on the album left me with a feeling of “That’s it?”. The Linda Perry-penned Lift Me Up is excellent and sung perfectly, but the awful guitar and overdone backing vocals detract from the song’s emotion, and it was far superior when performed live with a more stripped-down arrangement at the Hope For Haiti benefit. All I Need is another “I love my child” song from a female singer, and can we please just retire that cliche? Every parent gives it a shot, and no one ever pulls it off.
The one track that is nearly flawless is I Am. Its lyrics have a very Alanis Morissette-like quality, something you either love or hate, but I come down firmly on the side of love. There’s beautiful strings and the backing vocals are perfectly used throughout the song, never overpowering or distracting to the listener. Christina doesn’t even oversing here, giving a more understated vocal performance that allows the song’s vulnerability to shine through. Hopefully there will be more like this on the bonus disc that comes with the deluxe edition (so far unleaked) but I’m not holding my breath.
